As an aspiring science fiction writer, I feel personally insulted by this. As a practicing homosexual, I am simply livid. Okay, Orson, let’s suppose you’re right for a moment, and homosexuality is a horrible stain upon our nation. Then what shall I tell my children? Sorry, kids, but I am setting a very bad example for you. Please don’t do as I do. Please be straight.
In actuality, what I told them was “I’m gay, and it’s fine with me if you are, too. But if you’re straight, that’s also okay. I love you unconditionally.” Well, what do you suppose happened? They both turned out straight.
Now, this doesn’t seem right to me. I mean, they have been raised in a homosexual household since the ages of 5 and 8. My partner and I have been very demonstrative of our affection. Why haven’t we been able to turn these kids gay? I guess it’s for the same reason that our straight parents couldn’t turn us straight. I guess it’s not just a choice but something inborn.
So I guess I’ll just continue my life as a gay married woman with none of the legal rights that heterosexual married couples enjoy, because really what the fuck else can I do? I mean, how fucking stupid do you have to be to think that I would choose this? I mean, just what sort of idiot are you, Orson, to think that the way I raise my kids has any relevance on the way you raise yours. I mean, so what if the elementary school teachers should happen to mention that some kids have two mommies? Because the fact is that some of them do, and they mix in the public schools with the straight children of straight parents, and, uh, frankly, it’s really not that much of a problem.